10 Ways to Start Taking Responsibility For Your Life

“Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work (Adrienne Rich)."

In this episode I recommend '10 Ways To Start Taking Responsibility For Your Life' as well as explain what it means Taking Responsibility For Your Life. No one owes you anything and/or you're not The King so start taking responsibility/control for all aspects of your life (relationships, career, passions, etc). 

This is the last episode in Season 1 - I will be back in a few weeks. Until then make sure you catch-up with the other episodes, subscribe, rate & review and share! 

Transcript

Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking talking and naming for you. It means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts. Hence grappling with hard work, Adrienne Rich. Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to the Ageing Millennial podcast with your most favorite host Ammar Basit. So I'm to quote nicely takes us into this week's episode, which is ten ways to take responsibility for your life, however, before I start, I just like to add a disclaimer. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a psychiatry wrist. I'm not a certified counsellor or a psychologist of any kind. Hence if you are in a difficult situation Or you're facing issues, please seek professional help. The advice I share this podcast is purely purely purely based on my personal experience, and from what I've read or am reading. So I disliked that I just thought I'd add that just to make it clear that whatever advice I do give this podcast, it should be taken on board. But if your situation is serious, please do consult a professional. So just going back into this episodes. Sorry. This week's episode, which is 10 ways to take responsibility for your life.

So I'm going to start by just explaining what I mean by taking responsibility for your life. What might be stopping you from doing that? The impact it has on you. And then those ten ways, the ten magical ways. And then I will finish the episode filled with two great reviews which cracked me up when I was reading them. So I'm going to put on the Ammar, the philosopher hat. And when I talk about when I savers take responsibility for your life, what I mean by that is you don't take responsibility for your mind. So all the thoughts that go in your mind, not making mountains out of molehills. Suppressing those negative thoughts or addressing them. Sorry. Not suppressing, but addressing them. Listening to them. Seeing why? They're where they're coming from, but not acting on them. Big difference is not letting your mind dominate you. Do not let the mind control you. The mind's part of your body. Okay. Career? So take responsibility for your career. Make sure that the career is aligned to your goals. You know, if if if you're if you're doing a job, which isn't aligned to your values which are not enjoying you not getting along with your colleagues, but you want to do something else than in simple words, you're not taking responsibility for your career.

Take your responsibility for relationships. So if you have a crappy relationship with your parents or your siblings or your partner or your children or your teachers or your peers, it's your responsibility to fix them. You know I'm no one's gonna fix them for you. So you take responsibility for fixing your relationships or making your stronger relationships, even stronger, another one health. So you're responsible for going to the doctor. You're responsible for seeking help when you can see you're responsible for taking that step. Not taking responsibility for your health and relying on others. Relinquishes you of responsibility and any sort of control?

Take responsibility for pursuing your passions. So if you like to play the musical instrument, but you haven't done. So you want to learn a new language. You like hiking. You want to play a sport if you have all the resources available. But do not. That means you're not taking responsibility for your passions for doing something else in your life, which could add more meaning. So so this is what I mean by taking responsibility for your life. Either you need to be in control, you need to dominate. You need to have that, you know. Shit. You know, I have everything in order. And I tell my life where to go. I make this assistance for myself. I decide when I need to go to the doctor. I decide. I decide that my career needs to get better. I need to have a happier career. I ain't a better career. I have to be working towards something which aligns with what I want to do in the short term and long term. Obviously not. Everything's in control. As I have said in my previous episodes, there's some things which are out of our control. By least you can start take responsibility for stuff. Which is within your control within your influence. So but obviously those aren't the way suits me telling you what I mean by the term. So I won't be stopping you. You know you might have low self esteem. You don't believe in yourself. You don't believe in your abilities. You don't believe in your skills. You believe you don't believe you can do it?

And you know, there might be hundreds and hundreds of reasons where that stems from me with that low self esteem stems from it could be from a bad experience. You may have got bullied in the past, like I did, or you experienced something else. Later on in life, you could have been verbal abuse. It could have been physical abuse. I'm not the one to say though, you know, it could have resulted in low self esteem, which you have been carrying on for years years and years. And that's the reason why you cannot take responsibility for lot in your life, because you have that underlying fear, you have that hesitance to do it, because you always been told in your life that you have been a failure. And this kind of goes nicely into the stories. You're telling yourself in your head. They're you know, they're they're I think a lot. I think would be silly for me to say that.

You know, we're in the I'm in control my mind or you should be in one hundred percent. Control your mind because let's be realistic. We are humans in the end of the day, and our mind does take over in a lot of situations and other circumstances, but it's about how much we let our mind do that. So you know, I'm avoiding responsibility. Could be because of the thought you're telling yourself about the stories you're telling yourself that you've formed over years of the perception. You have about yourself. Which is it goes hand-in-hand with self esteem. You know privilege. I think privilege is a big thing. You feel if you feel you have cultural privilege or you feel privileged. So for example, you don't take responsibility for career because you've your principle has been there for you. They've given everything to you on a silver plate.

You know your parents or someone may have got your job or if you. If you think about your relationships, you think your you know, if you're the head of the household, I hate that word. But if you're the means a breadwinner in the household, you feel like you. You're hidden. You don't need to take responsibility. The house. You don't eat two. I take responsibility of bringing up the children. You don't need to take responsibility and be keeping the relationship with your partner, a life or in a vibrant attorney. Vibrance a correct word for this relationship. But you know what I mean? Hopefully our social relinquishing that control, relinquishing that responsibility of, you know, it's not me. I'm not. I don't. I'm not supposed to do. It is on my headache. So whatever.

But you know this whole sense of a time with soup at the sense of a title meant bullshit. I mean, you're the King or the Queen or the Downton Abbey Emperor. Or you know your your Lord or Lordship. You're you're none of that. So I do. I don't know. Sometimes you know, people on a havelock response ability because they feel like if they feel like they deserve it. They feel like you know, did that today, did they? Don't take any responsibility in life, but. But I'm Dino a bit, but these. But but these kind of small things have a huge impact on your on your whole, you know, on your whole well being.

So I think not having responsibility and honesty based on my experience, I have been a responsibility averse if that's a word on, you know, when I was married, I just do like the having the whole financial dependence on me. I was myself very fast independent. So I expected and my partner to be the same, I didn't take. I didn't like the responsibility of taking someone else in my life. I didn't like Davis either. So I've been very responsibility at purse throughout my life and know that that has a negative impact on you because I think responses when you take responsibility, it really helps you grow it. Really gives you a sense of control in your life. And it really kind of. I don't know it. Really kind of helps you to grow up in a way so not having not taking responsibility. Either results in low mood. As I said, losses of control.

You're dependent on others both physically and mentally. Perhaps there's no clarity on what you want in life or what drives you. You kind of control by others. Your puppet there is delay in gratification or satisfaction. So for example, if you're not take responsibility for your career, dust is delaying you taking any action to get a fulfilling career or in a relationship if you're not taking responsibility for the relationships in your life in terms of what partner you want. And you can delay A loving relationship. You may have in the future. If you end up in a blame game, you end up in it with a complaining attitude, you're ungrateful. You can become a possible toxic person. And you know, the list just goes on and on and on and on. So?

Take em not take responsibility as negative impact. So what are the 10 ways to start? Take responsibility in your life. I mean, the great one is that you're tuning to this podcast. So that means you really want to become a better person. But number one is a huge realized yet that you're the only you are the only one who can love yourself on conditionally most people. Let's be honest. Look after themselves though. I think parents might be the only beings who have pure unconditional love for the kids. And but, you know, once you start loving.

Realize that you're the only one was unconditional love for yourself. Thus I think when you start starting care of yourself as well. So that's the first step. And that's very important because that really helps with your self esteem. House would make you feel better and helps you start making this helps. You start mitt helping you believe in yourself. My English got over there. You need to start realizing that you have control to influence and fix and fix what you can. So for example, bad relationship with parents. You have that power to fix that. You can call them every two days. You can set goals for yourself if you wanna change your career. You have the power to change your career. You need to identify what makes you. What drives you? What? What's your passion? What's your and what's ambition life? You're the one we can do that. No one else can.

Used to be a star. Speaking to recruiter. Update your CV. You know, you're the only one who can can do that. You can't blame others. You can't blame others if you know you. Uranus should career should job. You can't blame others if you moved countries, are you not happy or you haven't moved countries and you're in that same comfort zone. You can blame others. It's for you to decide what to do. Where you have control an easy question. You know, like if you've made an investment in crypto is your responsibility. You were in control of making that have a reading about your investment or those. That particular cryptocurrency? You had old information at your hand. You can't blame others if you lose money. So you need to start taking things into control which are within your control and which you can influence.

Third. You to realize that no one owes you anything in life? If you need to go to the doctor, you should go to the doctor yourself. You know how? Why do you? Why do you wanna make things tough for others or your loved ones around you? Why don't you want to get better? So no one owes you anything. You're there. You need to do it for yourself. You need it. No one's gonna beg you to do something just to make yourself better in the. Yeah. People do give up on if it becomes, you know, daily thing. So you you you. I need to realize that no one owes you anything in life forth words.

And you need to take responsibility for words. You know, words can hurt words do have a very strong impact on the other person. So it's always good to pause for at least two to three seconds before you answer back. It gives you time to think about what you're gonna say. Seek respond in a better way if you need to respond back at all our unit, take responsibility for your words, because you don't have the licenses to do anything you want and hurtful on the way and discuss with the same when you're texting as well think before you reply back. No. No one's giving you the license to say anything or write anything.

So before that, you know, pause, think whether it's nice. Is it true? And only after you've answered those questions do respond back. So unity responsibility for your words, thoughts when you get a negative thought, respond back by asking. But by saying, actually, it's is not true or see the thought of close your eyes and see the thought as a moving cloud in the sky. It really does help you. You probably crack up right now, but I've tried it and Bt dubs help tried a couple of times and assure you that his negative thoughts will become less and less and less overtime. But you need to start taking responsibility for planting these the planting seeds of positive thought in your head.

No one's gonna do it for you. If your if your mind is boggled with negative thoughts and negative voices is your responsibility for addressing that for starting taking steps to work planting positive steps as positive or positive thoughts in your mind, you tell your mind who the bosses and whose body? It's N six. He started responsibility for identifying or identifying values goals in your life. Jot them down and repeat them to yourself every day. So this will definitely help you highlight every day on what's important to you. And subconsciously it start getting embedded as well. And you should definitely listen to my other episode on.

Positive thoughts are positive, thinking and wellbeing where I talk more about these values and goals and how to write them down and then how to practice them every day. I'm number seven, you know, seek help. So as I said, in this earlier to say, in this episode, you know, you should always helping us in if you're in a serious situation. But you're the only one. You need to take responsibility for seeking help. No one's going to do it for, you know, is gonna drag you to a therapist. Honestly guys, folks, trust me. I'm in the end. Most people looking out for themselves. And so so didn't do look out and do go seek therapy and listen to the podcast. The episode. I haven't therapy on the truth about therapy. I don't go there thinking you're gonna be fixed overnight. It's a long and gradual process. So do listen to the podcast to get a true glimpse on therapy.

Number eight. You realize that you only live once? Which in aviation terms is YOLO? This isn't a practice life. This isn't a practice Latin ally or Ron. You only get one life depending on beliefs and don't waste it. Don't waste thinking, you know, you'll never die. You will die one day, and you only have one life to do whatever you want in this life, you're responsible for making this life. And for making your life have fulfilled one as happy one and one. Where you achieve your goals and values and you love your loved ones. And you know you'll take responsibility for that number. Nine.

Don't blame yourself for lapses. So for example, if you're on this journey where you start taking control of your life, even if you start taking control of one aspect in life as a career and it doesn't work out, don't beat yourself over it. Lapses happen. You will fall down, but in the end, it's all about getting up and facing facing facing these challenges with a positive attitude and with a realistic attitude that it can happen again. But I am strong and I can face it again and I will get to my goal a number ten and his fire one is that believe in yourself. So honestly, I've done it. I keep seeing it every episode. If I can do it, you can do it. There have been people who have suffered a lot, their lives and they've come out really strong. And they're in a completely positive, different place. To where they were before.

So believe in yourself, you know, if people have come back from a terminal illness, people have lost loved ones. Perhaps lost jobs. People have lost houses. People lost friends, though they still must live a happy, fulfilling life afterwards. So there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Keep believing in that. Keep having hope in that and keep. And the most important thing most important thing is. Keep believing in yourself. So those are the ten ways of how he can start taking responsibility for your life. It's not easy. It's a gradual process, but at least make a start at least take one aspect in your life and start taking responsibility for it.

If your marriage is crap, take responsibility for make it better. If your career scrap, take responsibility for making you better, maybe you don't need to change careers. Maybe it's just about managing work in a different way, managing your colleagues in a different way, managing people upwards in a different way. So it's all about doing it differently. But you're in control. Take that control. And I'm gonna be your boss. Be your life's boss. So I hope that was enjoyed the episode. I hope you know if you have any other tips or then please feel fear. Feel free to share them. And just to kind of finish off this episode with some funny reviews said this was around. I don't know, if you guys while I'm sure you do with big pants. Big. The Bic pens. So this was a review on one of the big, soft feel pants.

Here's Eric haired ghosts. Have you ever wrote an essay? And two minutes later, you hire try to kill itself. Well say goodbye to those suicidal times. These pen. This issue be dispelled literally changed my whole writing game. Now I write continuously for nine hours without a single pain feeling. The smooth grip fits my hands. So perf. Luckily that is as if I'm getting a free hand massage from Fa pen, the blockers soothes my soul, and I feel relaxed is the most beautiful pet my eyes have ever laid upon. And I believe you are truly blessed couch across this magnificent bundle of joys. And I'm convinced that he started to help with my hub as well. I crippling depression. My constant hand pain. But I've not seen a sad day ever since the purchase of these pens coincidence. I think not. He loved it. Great.

And there's another one. Not under ten. But in a clown mask. And for all those who know me, I hate clowns, clowns, honesty. I'm my worst nightmare. I don't know where I've dubbed the fear of clowns, but if they are the most horrific things on the face of this Earth. So there is a view on this clown mosque. Here goes. Everyone loved it scary as heck. People wouldn't even get near me. When I was walking around cops. Stopping around one am stopped me around one am when I was walking to the store Halloween night. Cause people had called and was scared that three calls within a block 3 blockwork. Hahaha. Love it honestly. If I saw a person with a clown mask on the roads in the night as well and I was the only one I'd be.

Bloody shit. Scared? I'd probably make a run for it anyways. Hope you enjoy the reviews on this is my last episode on ice before I go on holiday for a couple of days and I will be back in a couple of weeks or with a new episodes. So don't miss me too much. But it gives you a nice chance to catch up with the other episodes. So have a good week. Have a good month and keep subscribing. Keep rating. Keep reviewing, keep sharing. And thank you so much for the love so far. Ciao!