Stopping Your Constant Job Search

Let's face it, you've said 'I HATE MY JOB, I'M QUITTING' at least once in your life and begin your job search on and off. You let your boss/colleagues get to you, you're bored of the routine work, you're a coffee snob and don't get good coffee at your workplace, hate the toilets, hate the commute and so on. Well I can relate to you (though I did love the toilets in my last workplace) because I've been through similar experiences. 

In this episode, I discuss:

• The reasons for hating our jobs and the need to quit
• How altering perceptions/thinking can make us start liking our jobs
• The impact such situations can have on your mental health

Remember: Life is short and you won't be remembered for making complex excel sheets, beautifying slides or working until midnight every day unless you're the legend who made the  Fifa Video Game). 

Call to Action: remember to LISTEN, SUBSCRIBE, RATE & REVIEW and SHARE with Family & Friends. This podcast - The Ageing Millennial - is listed on Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, Google Podcasts and many more..

Transcript

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, what's up? I hope everyone is well. I hope everyone is keeping safe. In these Everlasting covid X. So for new listeners, welcome to the Ageing Millennial. I'm your host Amar and I will dive straight into the topic of today's episode. So I hate my job. I'm quitting. This is probably a phrase. You've set yourself over the past many times of the past couple of years or heard your colleagues saying it, your friend saying it, your family saying it. 

You know, it's something I hear honestly on a regular basis every other day. One of my friends says, you know, I hate I'm quitting my job and so forth. 

At least I've said it in the last 11 years of my working. 

I must at least 50 60 times. If there's a shit day. I say, I hate my job. I'm quitting or, you know, if something happens and I say the same thing, but yeah, so this episode, I'll focus on, you know, what, you know, why it happens. 

Why you might hate your job while you may say it. And then ways to address it as well. So maybe you start. Maybe in the end. 

You start loving your job. 

You start seeing your job in a different way or it motivates you to start looking for other stuff in a less frustrated manner. 

So, you know, when I was thinking about this topic, it just reminded me of some personal work stories or some funny moments. Now that I look back, but when I was there, I was like, you know, oh shit. 

What the hell is happening? 

So, when I was in Russia, back in 2011 or 2012, I believe. 

I was asked by my manager to lead a work stream and the issue in Russia is I was working for my fmcg where the working language is English, but in Russia, the the everyone speaks Russian within the office and that's the main mode of communication. And so and I was one of the only foreigners working there at that time. So for them, adopting to English was a big step for them. 

Not that didn't know English, but it was just, you know. 

They were used to their their regular routine of speaking in Russian. So, so one day I attended a meeting which I was leading and it would happen that, you know, they would just break into Russian. They would say, Omar. Can you give us 20 seconds? Let us explain it in Russian because we use less brain power versus speaking in English. So they did that in that meeting and that 20 seconds honestly, became five minutes. And in the end, I said guys, you know, if I'm leading this work stream and you know, I speak English. I would appreciate if you conduct the meeting in English and where you generally require something to be explained in Russian, you know, a 20, 30 second or minute is acceptable but not five minutes, man. So 

They the their the the understand my point and one of the ladies, one of my colleagues actually asked the Forum to raise their hands who speak in English, or who speak in Russian and majority raised their has to speak in Russian. So honestly, I left that meeting. I was a when you guys have something to share with me and let me know. So that was one of the work stories which I found surprising. But out there I look back is quite funny, actually. Another another story. Is that when I asked my manager for leave a fortnight to start suicide or Amazon or the month of fasting for people who don't smoke or do speak will do and I asked her, you know, is it OK if I start a bit later in the mornings? Maybe thirty minutes or an hour later. An alvey. Obviously I work with an unfinished much later in the day. As I emailed her, she sent back a response saying request declined. 

That's a manager would also ask her her direct reports. 

You know, why are you 5 minutes late to work? So if it's 905 and 906, she'd actually, questioned you, why are you 5 minutes late in the future? Please do text me. 

If you're going to be late, even though you may not have reception. 

You might be in the in the tube train where phones don't work, but she still accept expect you to text message. So expect you to get out of the tube station, textured that you'd be five minutes late and then go back into the You so really efficient managers guys. 

Other other other, another story is when I was working in South Africa. 

I remember that we were doing a group assessment and one of one of the managers overlooking that, he briefed us that, you know, I want to slice like this, this, this the same format, the same wording. 

Everything. We didn't really adhere to his advice because 

You know, we didn't agree with most of the point. So he failed us in our group assessment, just because of personal a personal ego is sure I guess. But in the end though, we, you know, it was overturned by another senior manager who actually, we who we took through the presentation, and he understood points and appreciated our project and give us a really high grade for that. 

So yeah, just some personal work stories and I'd be really interested to hear any of your stories as well. Just just something which may have frustrated you in that situation or At that moment, but now you think back and you actually laugh about it. So I guess it depends, you know, just going back to to the topic. I hate my job. I'm quitting. Why does it happen? So I've been told as Millennials are impatient. So we expect faster job promotion. 

Versus versus, you know, the generation before us which might be true. I mean, if I look at my if I look at people around my age on my friends, everyone expects to get promoted every other year and a half two years. And once that doesn't happen then you're like, oh should I'm quitting a hate? My job. Another cup of reasons. Are you do not get along with your boss. I think that's it. That's a genuine reason. But you know sometimes bosses push you to a corner where you actually resign May. To resign or and hate your job, you know, they could be different reasons for your boss doing that ego trip them not liking their job, venting their frustration out on you and so forth. You might hide. I hate your job because you might be getting bullied by others in your workplace. You may not work with them. You may not report to them, but they could be bullying. You. I know I knew of her colleague who got bullied at work. 

They didn't really care much because they think he was lying and in the end he had to quit his job. So, you know, shit happens unfortunately and it gets either brushed under the carpet and the person is made to leave. Or the person never talks about it because they know that nothing is going to happen in the end. So really sad in that way, sometimes you might hate your job and feel like quitting because you're being unto you to under your underutilized. So you might have a great skill set and you can, you know, contribute much more than what's being asked. So you feel that, you know, your skills can be put to use somewhere better, which is fair. Then other reasons, you know, lack of blow benefits versus maybe other companies. Lack of good leadership. So you don't really believe in your leaders. They Don't Really offer a vision, didn't really offer any 

Hope to read away. You can go in the company. They really offer how this company will progress in the future there when he thinking short term. So how can they gain in their, you know, and in their stint and in their leadership, respective leadership position? So they really have a long term vision. And it's very it's very sad to see that because it really put that I think senior leaders don't realize that. But it really does put off the other lower. Sorry. Members of the lawyer, Laura hierarchies. If they don't. If the leader doesn't believe in the company, then it gives no reason why others should as well about work life balance. So I've seen in eleven years. My career people work until eight hours. I've done it myself. And if you're a worker in late night been on every day. 

And if it's going unappreciated, then it really does put you off. And you start looking for an environment, a work environment where your first your efforts are appreciated and secondly, where a person white work-life balance is occurs as well, because honestly, you know, life is short and you don't want to be working 14 hours a day. For nothing in the end when you die, and I'm sorry to be very blunt. But when you died, no one's going to remember. Oh, yeah, Mr. Worked 15 hours and fifteen hours a day for distant this company. 

I won't be remembered for that. No one cares, everyone's replaceable in the end of the day. 

So yeah, there's some of the reason why it may happen. 

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of other factors, but, you know, these are some of the factors, which I identify to my personal experience and from speaking to others, as well of why I might Hate my job and why I feel like quitting the next day. 

Obviously, there's just having, you know, thinking like this has an impact on you or such, you know, situations arising replace. Does have an impact in you. So I've seen it from my personal experience that I've been in difficult situations and it actually makes me think start thinking negatively negatively as well. So, you know, I'd start thinking of things which were not to be which might not even be true. 

So for example, in that Rush example where people I prefer to speak in Russian. 

I automatically start thinking, or do they hate me? Do they think I'm a competent? Do they think I'm a good leader. 

Do they not respect my opinions, but honestly, that's just creating false scenarios in my mind. I did ask a colleague later guys. 

You didn't you think that was a bit rude. And in hindsight actually, you know, in hindsight. They thought that was rude, but they just generally thought their points could be, could come across better and their Russian language. 

So negative thinking doesn't really help in other situations, where I may not go along with some Leaf, some managers, or where some managers may have ventured out their frustration on me. You know, I I start hating work. I started hating that environment and started hitting the managers of the leaders as well, which doesn't really help because there might be issues. You don't know about there might be frustrations on part of the leaders of managers or Colleagues that you may not know about. So it's always good to give benefit of Doubt, but also taking, you know, some work situations, seriously may definitely impacts your quality work. So you're definitely not going to be producing your best. 

It definitely impacts or can impact your future prospects of the company as well. So, you know, if you're seen as always being negative or not performing highly or being critical or not, you know getting along with your peers your managers and leaders. It will definitely impact your promotional aspects in the company as well. And I think most importantly honestly like apart from the impact on your promotions or or negative thinking, I think it also, I think taking, Um, taking everything seriously at work at times and internalizing. It really does impact your characters. Well, to become more reactive, you become more defensive. You become more Moody, which actually starts impacting your personal space as well. 

So I mean, you know, it's it is not great. And all of his face it. And for some of us, it might very hard to get off the situations, because when you know there may be different factors at play. But I'm going to talk about solutions or how you might be able to think about your work. The situation with you, which you might be hating a bit more differently. Okay. So firstly, and I think for most no one does anything because of you. Okay. So if there's an angry email or if someone speaks to out of tone or if I'm if you're your manager or keeps, or someone keeps critiquing your work in a negative manner. 

You know, regularly, it's not because of you. It's either do with their insecurities is to do with their egos, is to do with how they've been treated by their managers and by their leaders, or by their colleagues, or they don't know anything better. 

So, for example, if I've been brought up where I've been, I've started work life in an environment where, you know, being aggressive or being critical was the norm then. Kind of start adopting the streets as well. And then any new company or any new joinee that comes into my team. I'll be the same with them. So, if that's the only thing I've learned then I don't know any better. So, perhaps, you know, don't take it personally. If that happens to you, maybe start seeing it from their perspective and why that might be why they might be doing this, why they may be venting their frustration out and perhaps speak to them about it as well in a nicer way, in a subtle way. 

You know, identify the root cause might be might be the best way to do this importantly, you know, you've been employed in the company. So you're definitely capable of carrying out the tasks and caring the work. So, for example, if you're getting critiqued by someone or your ideas, you being pushed, you know, push down all the time. Always do keep in your mind that different for you for a reason. 

And you know, you're you're in the same position and as Anyone else you have the same opportunities to you? 

And you have the same platform to shine. So, never think you're less than anyone else. I think. 

It's, I think some other reasons. 

I think another another solution is always think about career is in your hands honestly, in my career. I realized that no one really cares about your career or about your growth. It's about you in the end of the day. If you need training, you need to push for it. If you need visibility in a particular form, you need to shout for it. 

If you want to work on a project on a cross-functional project which might add a which might out be out of your departments remit. Like for example, If you work in brand marketing and you want to work in finance, you might and there's a project going on, you need to ask to be involved in it. No one's going to ask for you. No one's really concerned about your career. I mean, there are some exceptional people who really look out for their, for their direct reports of their colleagues, but in honesty, everyone's just concerned about themselves, which is selfish, but this is how it is. 

So, look after yourself look after your career get involved in projects, which 

You know, you might be interested in and definitely speak about them. I think what's helped me is also having a mentor in a company, a mentor from a different department helps, especially if you can be honest with them transparent with them, they could always help you. 

And based on my first experience. 

I've had mentors who really really, really help me in difficult situations and honestly, the give me a different perspective on, you know, work on. 

My work life or my work issues personal issues as well. 

So it's really always good to have a mentor and definitely if you don't have a mentor approach, someone you think you can be transparent transparent with honest with 

It really does help a other couple of solutions, or you know things which may help you to see your job in a different light. As I pointed out in my well-being episode, don't let your inner thoughts are in a voice. Take over. Don't listen to it. Don't give it any importance. Don't gossip at work. So honestly, all of us are tempted to gossip. But if you're seen hanging out with the gossip group, then you'll be so negatively associated with that. So leadership or your colleagues may not appreciate that. So you'll keep gossip to the minimum. Because honestly, if you're telling someone something out of trust, they may pass it on to someone else as well. Which and then word of mouth it gets around and an a to start destroying career and. 

Things are being made and you know and you may not have said that, but everyone knows. And someone may have said that, you know, this guy this person said that. 

So, you know, stay away from Gossip. That's it's hard. It's hard. 

I know, but it's probably for the best. 

And you know, think about and it's and you can't control others is behaviors towards you. 

So best is to not react to think with the same mind to think that I'm not the cause of their frustration and you know, and perhaps work with them to address the situation. It's always good to be open in your communication because obviously if you're feeling frustrated or things aren't getting done. The other person or your manager, or senior leadership doesn't know that, right? So you need to speak to them about it and you need to speak in a, you need, put your arguments in a nice way. 

In a logical manner, in a factual matter, you don't really make things up. 

Don't do, but don't bring the emotion card in the back. Up your arguments as facts because it always helps. It's always hard for the other person to put you down or to challenge you and lastly, Lastly, lastly there to there to other Solutions which really helped as well. 

So your gratitude, Honestly, I've been more thankful. If you're, you know, if you're I've always been more thankful that at least I have a job. 

I'm not looking for one and you know, I can sustain myself with my income as well. The lots of people out there don't have jobs who can't make ends meet. 

So really, be thankful for what you have. 

And secondly, if your spiritual 

It really helps to accept that wherever you are is for a reason. 

So for example, if I'm in a job, which I might be disliking, is there to learn from to build my experience, on to, if I have a shit manager, or bad manager, it teaches me not to be like them with my direct reports in the future. If, you know, if if I don't like a company's culture, it teaches me to, you know, it gives me that knowledge about When I move to a new company, what am I looking for in the culture? So, always look at you, no heart or challenging situations, hard and challenging people, from a different perspective. What can I, how can I not be like them? What do I want my new organization? And if I start my own business, what do I want that business? You know, what I, what do I want my company to look like? What do I want? My leaders to look like? What do I want my employees to look like? 

So, you know, just just approaching the end of the episode now, I mean, there's so much to talk about but I can't believe it's been 20 minutes. It'd be interesting to hear about, you know, what you, what challenges you faced your work. Do you agree with any of the solutions? I provided. What, what else do you do to kind of think positively about, you know, about the job you're doing, or you know, how do you minimize this voice in your head? That I hate my job. 

I'm quitting tomorrow. So, Thank you guys for listening. Sorry folks for listening as usual subscribe to my channel. It's available on all the major podcast platforms rate and review rating and reviews. Definitely help firstly for me to improve my podcast and secondly to make my podcast more visible to to the entire world and have a good day. 

Have a good week. And until next time. Ciao.